We were working our way through The Red Badge of Courage when our high school English teacher, Mr. Johnson, decided to read aloud to us. A Sebastian Cabot look-alike and a bit of a thespian himself, Mr. Johnson had my rapt attention as he read the words at the end of Chapter 9 about the red sun pasted in the sky like a wafer.
I might have overlooked that sentence if I’d read it silently to myself. But Mr. Johnson’s elocution changed everything. From the look on his face and the sheer joy in his eyes, I suddenly knew what it was that turns white-bread writing into prose that is rich and weighty.
Similes and metaphors. The comparison of two unlike things that helps the reader see something familiar in a new and unexpected way. The use of this kind of imagery is the key to good writing.
Since then I’ve decided that similes and metaphors generally fall into one of three categories, two of which we want to avoid.
The first of these is the ho-hum sort. Most of these are boring simply because they’re clichés, used over and over again:
“She decided to run like the wind.”
“His anger reared its ugly head.”
“I felt like a kid in a candy shop.”
While legitimate images, they are the result of lazy writing, not to mention they’re also over-the-counter sleep aides. Guaranteed to make your reader’s eyes glaze over.
Then there are the huh? images. One day years ago my husband and daughter were at the bear exhibit at the zoo when three-year-old Laura blurted out, “He looks like a tomato.” Bob came home singing Laura’s praises for coming up with a simile, but I, ever the writer, was left pondering the connection between this huge black bear and a small red vegetable (or fruit, depending on which side of that argument you’re on).
Now, in case you think only a child would come up with something as incomprehensible, I recently read a comparison between a man’s face in the wind and a piece of veal cutlet on a chopping block. Though written by a published writer, it just didn’t work. I couldn’t see it. For a simile or metaphor to work, you have to be able to understand how the two images relate to each other, even though they’re different.
Finally, there are the a-ha! images. You know you have an a-ah! image when your reader says in delight, “I never thought of it that way but yes, I can see it!” You’ve offered an image that is fresh, imaginative, and vivid. And it makes sense as well.
Let me share with you three of my favorite a-ha! images:
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor….
– Alfred Noyes, The Highwayman (metaphor)
Gold and gleaming the empty streets,
Gold and gleaming the misty lake,
The mirrored lights like sunken swords
Glimmer and shake.
– Sara Teasdale, Spring Night (simile)
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
– Robert Frost, Birches (simile)
Can you see it? The road that is a ribbon of moonlight. The light that is a glimmering sword. The arching trees that resemble young girls drying their hair in the sun.
While these examples come from poetry, we can do just as well when we write prose. It takes an extra reach into the imagination and often a sacrifice of time and effort to come up with such imagery, but it makes for unforgettable writing.
Your assignment: Look through your work in progress. Where can you stretch your writing wings and deepen your imagery? Take one paragraph of your work, rewrite it, and polish it with new ways of saying old things. Once you’ve done this, compare your paragraphs and see which one you’re more inclined to read.
Inequality in the Kingdom of Nouns
Cindy K. Sproles
1/31/2025
Get Rid of the Word Was
Cindy K. Sproles
1/25/2025
Earn Your Reader’s Trust -- Commit to Credible, Accurate Citations
Cindy Sproles
1/18/2025
Wordy, Wordy, Wordy
Andrea Merrill
1/10/2025
Don't Write Your Bio - Write WHY ME? - Assignment 1
Bob Hostetler
1/7/2025
Get Rid of Gimmicks
Denise Loock
3/15/2024
Avoid Pronoun-Antecedent Dysphoria
Cindy Sproles
3/13/2024
Assignment 6 - Self-Editing Is Not For the Faint of Heart
Andrea Merrell
2/17/2024
Assignment 5 - What in the World is a One Sheet - Andrea Merrell
Cindy Sproles
2/8/2024
Assignment 4 - Storytelling Your Life Lessons
Lucinda Secrest McDowell
2/3/2024
Learn to Show, Not Tell Your Story
Cindy Sproles
1/26/2024
Spit shine that Work - Assignment 3
Cindy Sproles
1/20/2024
Oh! I Need a Professional Email Address?
Cindy Sproles
1/16/2024
Bio, Bio, Who's Got the Bio
Cindy Sproles
1/4/2024
Get in the Mood to Write - Assignment 5
Cindy Sproles
2/13/2023
Assignment 4 - The 5 Cs of an Elevator Pitch
Cindy Sproles
2/2/2023
Appropriate Emails - [email protected] - Assignment 3
Cindy Sproles
1/21/2023
Assignment 2 - Creative Non-Fiction
Cindy Sproles
1/15/2023
How to Make the Most of Your Conference Experience - Assignment 7
Cindy Sproles
2/12/2022
Sensory Perception Enhances Your Writing - Assignment 4
Cindy Sproles
1/22/2022
January 16, Assignment 3 - Bring Your Characters to Life
Cindy Sproles
1/16/2022
Assignment 2 - Titles & Sentences - Nancy Lohr
Cindy Sproles
1/8/2022
An Adjective Safari - Assignment 1
Denise Loock
1/5/2022
Assignment 5 - Don't Waste Your Conference Experience
Cindy Sproles
2/6/2021
January 24, Assignment Four - Time to Shoot the Weasel Words
Cindy Sproles
1/24/2021
Assignment 3 - The Role of Speaker Tags and Beats
Cindy Sproles
1/21/2021
January 10, Assignment 2 (1 of 2 assignments)
Cindy Sproles
1/10/2021
Assignment 1 - ACWC January 5 - Let's Start with a Bio
Cindy Sproles
1/5/2021
February 1 - Assignments 5 & 6 - Linda Glaz
Cindy Sproles
2/1/2020
How Not to Get an Agent - Assignment 7
Bob Hostetler
2/10/2019
It's Not What You Know; It's Who You Know - Assignment 4
Bob Hostetler
1/20/2019
Stay on Track with a Writing Schedule - Assignment 3
Larry Leech
1/13/2019
Assignment 2 - Finding Speaker Topics
Beth Fortune
1/5/2019
IMAGERY–WHEN THIS IS LIKE THAT
By Ann Tatlock
12/30/2018
Asheville Christian Writers Conference Privacy Policy
Cindy Sproles
6/4/2018
2018 Writers Charge
Cindy
2/18/2018
Getting Rid of “I” Disease - Assignment 3
Andrea Merrell
1/14/2018
Curb Your Adverb Addiction - Assignment 2
Denise Loock
1/7/2018
WHO ARE YOU? - Writing Your Bio
Cindy Sproles
11/17/2017
WRITING IN A PICKLE
Cindy Sproles
11/13/2017
THE NaNoWriMo CHALLENGE
Cindy Sproles
11/10/2017
BRINGING YOUR CHARACTERS TO LIFE
By Andrea Merrell
2/12/2017
DON’T LET SPEAKER BEATS RUIN YOUR MANUSCRIPT
By Andrea Merrell
2/5/2017
HOW TO CRAFT GREAT DIALOGUE
By Andrea Merrell
1/30/2017
AVOID REPETITION AND WRITE TIGHT
By Andrea Merrell
1/20/2017
THE QUOTATION QUOTA – ASSIGNMENT 2
By Andrea Merrell
1/13/2017
ELIMINATE THE EXCLAMATION POINTS – ASSIGNMENT 1
By Andrea Merrell
1/7/2017
WRITING ADVICE FROM MARK TWAIN: WRITE WITHOUT PAY UNTIL SOMEBODY OFFERS TO PAY
By Sandra Merville Hart
12/22/2016
WHEN THE STORY STALLS IN THE MIDDLE
by Sandra Merville Hart
12/20/2016
WHO REALLY SELLS YOUR BOOKS ?
by Cindy Sproles @CindyDevoted
9/20/2016
MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR 15-MINUTE APPOINTMENTS
by Cindy Sproles
9/16/2016
ARRRGH! ANOTHER REJECTION – CINDY SPROLES
by Cindy Sproles
9/12/2016
FROZEN IN PLACE – ICEY SELF-TALK TO FREEZE YOUR WRITING
By Cindy Sproles
9/8/2016
THE BIO – THE FRAGRANCE OF WHO YOU ARE
by Cindy Sproles
9/3/2016
THE PAIN OF UNSOLICITED
by Cindy Sproles
8/29/2016
REDUNDANCY: AN EXCESSIVE, OPPRESSIVE, PERVASIVE DISEASE
By Denise Loock
8/26/2016
7 THINGS TO DO NOW TO BE READY WHEN WRITING INSPIRATION STRIKES – EDIE MELSON
by Edie Melson
8/23/2016
MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR 15-MINUTE CONFERENCE APPOINTMENTS
by Cindy Sproles
8/20/2016
WHY SHOULD I ATTEND THE ASHEVILLE CHRISTIAN WRITERS’ CONFERENCE?
by Cindy Sproles
8/17/2016
YOU NEED A PLATFORM – LIVING A STORY- ASSIGNMENT 3
By La-tan Murphy
1/20/2016
THE ONE SHEET
by Cindy Sproles
1/8/2016
OVER-EDIT?
By Steven James
11/4/2015