Get Rid of Gimmicks

Get Rid of Gimmicks
Friday, March 15, 2024 by Denise Loock

NOTE FROM CINDY – Our apology to Denise for the typo in her title that was sent out earlier in the week. As we were working in the site, it went down and was down for 24 hours. Our tech guys were frantically working to restore all our sites but in the meantime, we couldn’t make changes. Some may have experienced not being able to see the site at all even with the links we provided. We were all surprised that the autosend sent her post despite the fact we had not saved it to send. So we apologize to both Denise and you for the technological blunder that happened. Technology is our greatest friend and worst enemy.

By Denise Loock

According to Merriam-Webster, a gimmick is “a trick or device used to attract business or attention.” We expect marketers to indulge in this kind of chicanery to grab our attention. But professional writers are held to a higher standard—clarity. M-W defines clarity as “directness, orderliness, and precision of thought and expression.” No fluff. No contrivance.

What gimmicks do newer writers often use? Italics, all-caps, boldface, exclamation points, and unnecessary quotation marks. Seasoned writers avoid these keyboard crutches in favor of precise words and deliberate sentence structure, which better communicate their point.

Let’s look at three examples.

Example 1: John was so angry he picked up the statue and threw it at the wall!

This writer has tried to show John’s anger with an italicized so and an exclamation point. Neither are necessary. John’s actions show his anger. No need to say he’s angry. Instead, the person could write this: John picked up the statue and threw it at the wall.

Why is the exclamation point unnecessary? Seasoned writers rarely use this punctuation mark. Instead, they use word choice and sentence structure to create emphasis.

Original version: Tom waited an hour! Then he left the restaurant in a huff!

Revised version: An hour later, Tom stuffed his shredded napkin into the empty glass and stalked out of the restaurant.

Original version: The child threw herself on the floor, grabbed her mother’s leg, and wailed, “Don’t leave me!”

Revised version: The child crumpled on the floor and clutched her mother’s leg. “Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave.”

Example 2: Rahab was a “lady of the night.”

This writer has used a euphemism for prostitute and placed the term in quotation marks. Neither the euphemism nor the quotation marks are necessary. Clarity is the better choice: Rahab was a prostitute.

As for the quotation marks, if readers are unfamiliar with the euphemism, the quotation marks don’t help them define it. If readers are familiar with the term, then the quotation marks are unnecessary. Seasoned writers prefer original metaphors and clear terms over euphemisms and cliches. Use quotation marks properly: for cited material and for dialogue.

Example 3: She shouted, You are a LIAR! This relationship is over!”

This writer has added emphasis by using all-caps. Seasoned writers rarely, if ever, use this technique. Far better to communicate the speaker’s intent another way: She severed their ten-year relationship with a single slash. “Liar.” Using a strong verb, severed, and adding the adjective ten-year increase the drama without resorting to all-caps and exclamation points.

This week, review a few pages of your work in progress (WIP). Revise any sentence that contains one of the gimmicks I mentioned. Here are a few revision techniques: (1) rearrange the words in the sentence, (2) eliminate unnecessary words, (3) use one precise noun, adjective, or verb instead of multiple nouns, adjectives, or verbs, (4) remove euphemisms and cliches, and (5) ditch the exclamation points.

Comments

Sherry Sharp From Richmond, VA At 3/21/2024 11:05:00 AM

Thank you, Denise; your guidance is always appreciated. I hope the semi-colon in my comment is correct. Lol.

Betty Brennan From Church hill, TN At 3/18/2024 11:06:51 AM

Thank you so much for the helpful hints and guidance. Did not get to attend this year but I so look forward to attending the conference next year. Betty